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  1. #1
    The Great Orange One Qwaring's clone#1 is offline Qwaring's clone#1's Avatar
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    On the Wrong Page... Cloney's Multiversal Misadventures... Part I...

    On the Wrong Page... Cloney's Multiversal Misadventures... Part I...

    The primary cargo bay of the Nadesico…


    Running diagonally across the floor of the crate-filled cargo bay runs a pair of dark tire tracks. The tracks begin at the center of the large chamber and leads to the tires of a large 1970’s era RV. The RV apparently appeared within the center of the chamber, out of thin air, and it arrived with its tires spinning at full speed. The tire tracks are from the brakes being forced down in an attempt to bring the speeding vehicle to a sudden halt. This resulted in the tires skidding across the cargo bay untill the RV came crashing into a mound of metal crates. Some of the crates were knocked over, and their contents were spilled out onto the deck. That was ten minutes ago.


    Standing in front of the open hood of the RV, with a column of dark smoke rising from the vehicle’s engine, is an overweight, middle-aged man with long grey hair, wearing early colonial American era clothes, bifocals, and a truckers cap. On his lapel sticks a ‘Hello my name is’ sticker, with the name ‘Benjamin Franklin’ fancifully written on it. Franklin wipes grease off of his hands with a rag as he steps away from the damaged engine he has been working on for the past few minutes.



    “Friend Cloney, I think I’ve repaired the mechanism that drives this cart of yours.” Franklin calls out as he slams the hood of the RV shut.

    Halfway across the cargo bay, Cloney lifts his head from an open crate he has been pillaging. His mouth is full of unpopped popcorn kernels, which he chews and crunches on. Within his arms he holds a large pile of foodstuff robbed from various crates. The glowing orange skinned Cloney wears something a motorist of the very early 1900’s would wear on a Sunday drive. Atop his head rests a tweed drivers cap, a pair of goggles are fit over the pair of cool shades the clone always wears, wrapped around his neck is a white scarf, a brown leather jacket and matching gloves clothe his upper body, while his outfit ends with tan slacks and brown leather riding boots. He grins excitedly as he rushes back to the RV and the middle-aged colonial man.


    Perfect, Benjy. I’ve got some road-trip snacks.The orange clone happily announces to Franklin. Cloney tosses the stolen food into the open door on the side of the RV. This armful of food lands into a large mound of other food that has been stolen from other crates the clone has been rummaging through in the cargo bay.This stuff should last us until we hit the next pit-stop.


    “No muskets?” Franklin observes as he approaches the clone and looks over the pile of stolen food. “What if we run into those Dinosaur-creatures again?” Franklin asks his orange friend with a hint of worry in his voice.


    Oh relax, Benjy. Not every island has Dinosaurs on it. Sometimes they have Harlem Globetrotters or a magic hole at the bottom of a cave that makes absolutely no sense.The clone confidently reassures the colonial.


    “Yes, I suppose you’re right. It’s just… watching friend Nostradamus being eaten by one of those monsters has left me a little worried.”


    Yeah, poor Nosty… Both men share a moment of silence as they briefly mourn one of their many lost traveling companions. There had been more than half a dozen of them at the start of this journey and now, five universes later, it is only the two of them.I bet he didn’t see that one coming.The clone blurts out about the Dinosaur-devoured Nostradamus. Cloney and Franklin glance at each other for a silent moment before bursting out with hysterical laughter.
    ...to the topTop



  2. #2
    The Great Orange One Qwaring's clone#1 is offline Qwaring's clone#1's Avatar
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    While picking through the pile of stolen food, Franklin discovers a large metal cylinder with glowing strips and panels running along its half meter length and various tubes and wires hanging out of either end of the device. The colonial reaches towards the object, but recalls how touching a mysterious item Cloney stole from the Martians is what killed poor Gilgamesh, another of their ill-fated companions on their journey of beer and madness. Franklin decides to pull his hand away from the glowing cylinder.


    “Say, friend Cloney, what is this glowing object?” The middle-aged colonial asks his orange pal.


    Hmm? Oh, that. I’m not sure what it is. I pulled it out of the Nadesico’s engine. It felt warm on my face and it hums.” The clone replies with a cheerful smile. He picks up the glowing item and presses it against the side of his head, nuzzling his cheek against its warm surface. He succumbs to an overjoyed grin and a happy sigh. Mmmmm, it reminds me of my mother…


    Franklin takes a step away from the happy clone as the glow of the cylinder causes Cloney’s driving cap to shrivel up and crumble to dust.
    “Uh, Cloney.” Franklin fearfully begins stammering to the orange man. “Maybe that machine is full of some of that radiation friend Oppenheimer warned us about before he was incinerated by the warlocks of the Ovre-realms.”


    Pffft! Come on. I think I know a little more about radiation than flippin’ Oppenheimer.The clone defensively dismisses Franklin’s worries as the energy from the cylinder makes the skin over his head transparent, presenting an x-ray-like view of his skull. Cloney tosses the cylinder into the RV where it bounces and rolls under the small bed in the back of the vehicle.. The orange clone then leads his middle-aged friend into the RP. Come on, Benjy. If we head out now we should reach Graceland by morning. Then we can wrestle all of the Elvis’ we want in a pit full of bananas.The clone excitedly announces as he sits down in the drivers seat.


    “Um- Sounds- uh- amazing?…friend Cloney.“ Franklin sits down on the passengers seat and snuggly buckles his seatbelt. The clone slaps a Beach Boys 8-track tape into the 8-track player. He then puts the key into the RV’s ignition. The engine of the RV whines, moans and begs with every grinding noise it can create for someone to put it out of its misery. But the clone ignores the agonizing noises groaning out from the RV and instead stomps on every pedal, turns every knob and pulls on every lever in hopes of forcing the vehicle into starting up. A thick cloud of smoke begins to pour out from every corner of the RV as Cloney tries to start it up.
    ...to the topTop



  3. #3
    It had been peaceful. Seriously peaceful. Ruri was almost relaxed. So of course, this could not last. And when the power system for the main cannons suddenly broke, she knew this was a sign of things to come.

    After a bit of chatting with the engineers, Ruri headed to the cargo bay, sees the RV and just sighs.


    The fact this does not surprise me is worrisome. Idiot clone, I know you are behind this. Where is the power system?

    The petite ships captain walks worriedly towards the smoking machine considering if she should call in one of the mechs to step on it. But it doesn't look like the clone is alone. So much for the easy solution. And with that she tries the door.
    "Idiots, too many Idiots."
    "Baka"

    LM
    ...to the topTop



  4. #4
    The Great Orange One Qwaring's clone#1 is offline Qwaring's clone#1's Avatar
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    Despite his struggle to start up the very noisy, would-be dying RV, Cloney spots the reflection of Ruri approaching the side door through the side mirror. "Egads! Ruri's spotted us! She's gonna be mad if she finds out about me stealing all of that shoe-polish! Hang on, Benjy!" The clone shouts out as he makes a hard turn on the steering wheel and stomps down on the gas pedal. Unfortunately for the clone's plan of escape, the RV's engine is not running, and so the front tires turn, but the vehicle remains in the same spot it crashed fifteen minutes ago.

    "Um- friend Cloney, it would seem-" The confused Franklin begins to try and mention reality to the orange clone.

    "Not now, Benjy! Jeeze! I can't shake her! Ruri's moving too fast!" The clone shouts back at his middle-aged companion as he watches Ruri gradually approach the side door and open it. "Benjy, go keep her distracted. Lay on that Franklin-charm. I'll try to get the engine running." The clone mutters out his quick plan to Franklin before slipping out of the driver's side window, falling out of the vehicle and scrambling towards the hood of the RV in hopes of beating some life into the nearly lifeless engine. Meanwhile Franklin simply shrugs his shoulders and follows the orange man's idea. He unbuckles his seatbelt, rises from the passenger seat and steps into the midsection of the RV's interior. The inside of the RV appears to be a shrine to 1970's design sensibilities. It seems as if every surface is covered in wood paneling, and every scrap of fabric is a shade of orange, brown or green. In the midsection stands a small table with several chairs, a couch, a very small kitchen area with cabinets, a sink, a tiny stove, and in the rear of the vehicle is a bed, more cabinets and a very small shower. In the center of the floor is a large pile of food stolen from the Nadesico.

    Benjamin Franklin steps over the pile of food, straightens his coat and smiles at Ruri.
    "Hello, Miss Ruri." The man glances towards the front of the RV as he hears the clone noisily open the hood and begin to pound and hammer on the engine. He immediately returns his attention to the teenage captain and the task of distracting her. "I am Benjamin Franklin. Perhaps you've heard of me." He again smiles at Ruri, while digging out an American hundred dollar bill and holding it up so that his portrait on the currency is visible to Ruri. He adjusts his expression in order to perfectly match the image on the bill.

    Meanwhile, the clone has opened up the flask he keeps in the inside pocket of his jacket and is pouring its toxically alcoholic contents out over the engine of the RV. The machine lets out an agonizing wail and a cloud of sickening smoke. The clone then returns to beating on the engine with a crowbar.


    "Work, dang you! I'm not giving up that shoe-polish!" The clone shouts at the engine.
    ...to the topTop



  5. #5
    The nameless janitor mumbled as he walked down to the storage bay. His blue janitor one piece said his name, though nobody ever used it. It was young janitor, janitor, boy, servant - if they were in a bad mood - whatever the important people decided to call him he always responded. Loud noise always meant a loud mess. This job sounded so much more interesting in it's description, with intergalactic travel, exciting new people, they seemed to have forgotten to mention the amount of mess one ship can make. He sighed hearing more noises coming from beyond the door. Sounded like an angry growling of out of date engines. He passed through the door to see smoke and a captain walking into a strange vehicle. He decided then that this was going to be a strange day as walked toward the machine he assumed was a smoke machine or a very large smoke bomb.
    ...to the topTop



  6. #6
    BOOOM!


    Meteorette

    The exploding sound of the Boom Tube broke into the room breaking several glasses and shaking the entire Nadesico. Its portal opened right in front of a very disturbed Qwaring's Clone who happened to be hitting an RV's engine with a crowbar. A very angry woman stepped through the vortex.

    "I've been looking for you all over the universe, Clone. You're a hard godling to catch." She wasn't being nice and she couldn't care less. "You can jump from one reality into the next and I want to get back to mine once for all!" Her eyes sparkled red in anger. "And it's not a request!"
    ...to the topTop



  7. #7
    Paper currency has long been rendered useless. Digital credits are the currency here. I am sorry you've gotten drug into whatever scheme the Clone is up to. Please turn off the vehicle before-

    And that is when the BOOM goes off. And a moment later the fire suppression system kicks in drenching the entire bay.

    -that happens.

    Ruri looks out and see the BOOM Tube and not the usual culprits of it.

    Just what the universe needs, another rock happy idiot.

    The smoke and downpour prevents her from seeing the janitor. Of course, she has people to do the hiring but swears that the ship has automated cleaners. Probably a favor to someone. Like hiring a pilot under the cover of cook.
    ...to the topTop



  8. #8
    The Great Orange One Qwaring's clone#1 is offline Qwaring's clone#1's Avatar
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    Benjamin Franklin is about to question Ruri about what she meant by 'digital' currency, but the sudden boom from Meteorette's arrival startles the colonial beyond reason. Having travelled with Cloney for many strange and dangerous worlds Franklin has come to expect only sudden tragedy and death to follow any loud noises. The middle aged man jumps and hurdles his way over the mound of stolen food and ducks into the small shower near the back of the wood paneled RV. He closes the curtain and seeks to hide from whatever terror the clone has led him to this time.

    Cloney on the other hand responds to the boom sound by looking up towards the ceiling above, as if waiting for rain, which does begin to fall in the form of the ship's fire suppression sprinklers. The orange man grimaces in what seems to be bad weather. He slams the hood of the RV shut and marches his way around the still grumbling vehicle. He slides to a halt beside Ruri, the RV's side door, Meteorette and the approaching janitor. The orange clone decides he still doesn't want Ruri taking back any stolen shoe-polish and so he focuses his full attention to Meteorette. He smiles at the demanding goddess.


    "Hey, Meteoro! You look- uh- different somehow. Have you lost weight or something?" The clone puzzles over why this person he believes is Meteoro doesn't quite look like Meteoro. The idea of her being the female version of Meteoro from an alternate reality isn't quite able to sink into his mind. Cloney glances at Ruri now and gives the young captain the full charm of a genuine Cloney-smile. "Hi, Ruri. Funny seeing you here. I'd like to help you figure out what's the deal with someone stealing food and shoe-polish, but I just promised to drive Meteoro home." Cloney reaches out to take Meteorette by the arm and try to pull her into the side door of the RV. "You know Meteoro, if someone doesn't keep an eye on him he'll have another kid or something."

    Cloney then glances over at the approaching janitor and calls out to him.
    "Hey, Steve, grab that twenty pound bag of gummy bears and toss them in here. Those are totally mine. I left them here the last time I was here." The clone points at the bag of candy that sits on top of one of the smashed open crates. The bag is clearly labeled as property of the Nadesico. "Come on, everyone, the Cloney express is leaving right now. No time to waste!"

    Inside of the RV, in the back of the vehicle, under the small bed, the metal cylinder that the clone took out of the Nadesico's engines begins to emit a high pitched whining noise. This noise can be clearly heard by all within the cargo bay. Ruri might even recognize it as the sound of a charge of ionized particles building up within the device, giving them fifteen minutes before the cylinder becomes hot enough to set fire to the RV.

    From inside the RV's shower, Franklin calls out to the clone,
    "Friend Cloney, I think your radioactive humming mother-machine is making a noise!"
    ...to the topTop



  9. #9
    Radioactivity has its uses. Apart from obvious ones, such as sterilising entire planets in sufficient doses, it can also be used to create energy. And energy is the sort of thing a hungry Dalek needs, even if it's been spending most of its time alternately wobbling around a spaceship's corridors and participating in games of "Guess Which One Isn't A Vacuum Cleaner". So it should not really have been a surprise that a temporally and spatially lost cyborg found its way to the Nadesico's cargo bay, sucker-stick outstretched and doing quite a credible impression of a zombie plumber.

    Some characters carry their theme tunes around with them as if they had an orchestra in their pockets. All they need to do is step on set, and you can just about hear John Williams cranking up his orchestra in the background, even if there's nothing to be heard.

    If Gamma had a theme tune, it would be Penguin Café Orchestra's "Telephone and Rubber Band". It says it all, really.

    Oooh. Tasty, Tasty, Millisieverts.
    ...to the topTop



  10. #10
    The janitor currently named Steve, though still up for debate, looked at the bag up candy, which was clearly not for this orange person, and shrugged. He just walked over ready to debated with the orange man it appeared. Then it started raining inside, and the RV started whining up with a familiar noise. He repeated the shrugging motion and walked into the RV.

    It's not your candy

    He stated in a flat voice, more curious about what in the word was going on than anything else.
    ...to the topTop



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