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Thread: What is Love

  1. #1
    Count / Countess Tigers is offline Tigers's Avatar
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    What is Love

    What is Love



    Roxanna Volkova


    The world was falling apart, it was becoming more dangerous for anyone that was not human or no longer human. The world in which she had come into as mortal had changed, and those she used to consider her own knew about their world. But in their last days in Budapest, Roxanna knew nothing of the current flight for life as humans now became a new and dangerous threat. Fresh from her own tragedy, lost in her emotions and still recovering from her wounds everything around her had become a blur.

    Walled in by silence, unable to express much outside of what she was feeling except to her sister Veronika and her mother Katherine, Roxanna's world had come to a violent and screeching impasse. All of the activities, the rush to move, the change of scenery, the new home, she observed none of it. Roxanna's heart had been broken, and not just by the bullet that had literally shredded it.

    What is love? It was a question she kept asking herself. She had the love of a sister, of family, this kind of love she was learning about and had cherished more than any possession she owned. But the other, the kind her parents had, her aunts and uncles, most of the members of this mixed family of immortals, she knew nothing of. And after what had happened, she did not think she'd ever know of it, and perhaps was too afraid to ever put herself out there again to find out.

    Camille.

    That one single name evoked so many emotions within Roxanna that within the first few days of waking in the infirmary she had simply sobbed herself into exhaustion. She had loved her, but that situation had been so messed up from the beginning. If she'd just listened with her head and not her heart to all the warnings her family had given her, maybe she wouldn't be hurting as much as she was. It wouldn't change the fact that Camille was dead, Rox had no doubt she would have died alone.

    She couldn't imagine what it was like for Camille to live with her family and friends. Rox had lived her life in the brothel, sex was all she knew. You didn't chose who you were with, what their age or sex was. The brothel never gave you those options, and you never argued for fear of being beaten or worse. So, Roxanna had embraced it, learned to like it and enjoy it. It's not to say she didn't have her days that she just wanted to not have to do what she was told, but in her mind it was better to enjoy it than be miserable.

    In hindsight, she could see that this was one of the many reasons that her mother had asked her to take things slow, to put some space between her and Camille. She needed to find herself, to heal from a life time's worth of forced prostitution and to discover who she was really attracted too now, that it was her choice to make. But she was so caught up in her feelings for Camille, that she hadn't listened, and now Camille was dead.

    So much had changed in that moment, and it had affected more than just Roxanna it had affected her entire family, and everyone around her. Veronika hardly ever left her sight, she'd become a constant fixture in her bed when she rested. V chased away the nightmares, wiped away her tears and held her close when her mother wasn't there to comfort her. Veronika had become Rox's best friend, her anchor in the emotional storm, the best kind of sister anyone could ever hope for. She would gladly die for Veronika without a thought, her sister had been her strength and her mother her comfort. And Roxanna no longer called Katherine or Alexander by their names, it was now mom and dad. Ever since that day she never went back to their names and never would.

    Liliya had extra hugs for her when she saw Rox, Tash was there to offer silent support when she just needed to sit quietly. Zora had been there to constantly try and cheer her up, help her stay up on homework so that she wasn't behind and find new ways to bring Rox out of her depressed mood. This kind of love and support she loved and cherished. Such a foreign concept had become such a welcoming balm to a young woman unaccustomed to this kind of treatment.

    If only she could talk to Camille right now, share what was inside her heart and what her actions had done, maybe then the rest of her broken heart would heal and she could move on. But that was impossible, she was dead and she was never coming back. At least she had been smart enough to resist the urge to change her in her dying moments. It's not that she didn't want to try or wasn't tempted. But what would Camille had been like as a vampire, she certainly knew the struggles she herself had, and Camille was just as messed up.

    The idea of a crazed Camille running amok in Budapest was just as horrible an image as the dead Camille. Not quite as bad as the dead Camille her inner voice whispered as she squeezed the thoughts of her bloody corpse from her mind. She would forever be haunted by that image, burned forever within her immortal mind.

    Rox rolled over onto her side and stared at the wall of what was her new home, and her new room. A room she thankfully still shared with her sister, as both girls opted to remain in the same room. Another day had passed by, and Roxanna couldn't remember what, if anything she'd done. Even in another country, the pain still lingered, the evidence of the event still shown in the pale and gaunt look in Roxanna's eyes.

    Her chest still hurt and some days the phantom pains of the bullet striking her brought fresh memories of that day to a vivid replay in her mind. On those days, Roxanna could only stay in, sometimes seeking the comfort of family, other days hold up in her room alone. And when those days coincided with a counseling session with Millie, she found it difficult to want to talk at all, sometimes just sitting there feeling guilty for wasting her time while she tried to keep the tears at bay. And on the really bad days, Roxanna couldn't stop crying.

    Those days always lead to guilt afterwards, guilt for not listening to the warnings, guilt for hurting everyone else that loved her and guilt for wishing that some days she wished she'd died too. Roxanna wondered if she'd ever get past the pain and hurt. In time, this was the answer, but what about love? No, she could never love again, never put herself in that place. Love was for others, not for her. Roxanna's definition of love was pain and anguish, it was an emotion not worth the experience. She no longer believed in love....how could she? Not when you're raised in a brothel, that was reality, not the fairy tale that they painted in books and in movies.

    Roxanna glanced at the clock by the bed. She wasn't hungry, she hadn't had much of an appetite for awhile, funny thing that, especially given her bloody beginnings. But she'd made a promise to her mother, and she couldn't hurt her anymore than she already had. She rose slowly from her bed and headed for the door. Maybe tonight she could sleep, and memories of that violent day would leave her alone and allow both girls to sleep. Guilt. Veronika hadn't slept much lately either, but how can you when your sister wakes most nights covered in sweat, gasping for air and frantic.

    She was lucky to have such a sister, to have the family she did. This love she could believe, this love was safe and comforting. This is the type of love she would believe in now, not the other. It only existed in fairy tales and for other people. Tonight, maybe she'd join in game night. Tonight maybe she could put her own selfish grief on the back burner and make her family smile for a change. Maybe she could bring them some joy. She was determined to try, and she would try she'd convinced herself as she reached for the handle on the door.
    Peace is a lie
    There is only passion
    Through passion I gain strength
    Through strength I gain power
    Through power I gain victory
    Through victory my chains are broken
    The Force shall set me free
    ...to the topTop



  2. #2
    Count / Countess Tigers is offline Tigers's Avatar
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    Roxanna Volkova


    Roxanna walked slowly into the dining room feeling the effects of her lack of appetite and exercise. In this condition, she wouldn't be much of a fight to anyone, even with immortal strength. Veronika had left the room earlier to give Rox some time alone, although reluctantly. She would make a great mother someday, Roxanna thought. She'd been so concerned for Roxanna that day, the day her world had come crashing down upon her. Veronika had cried just as much as Roxanna had those first few days, sharing in the guilt. A guilt that Roxanna felt she shouldn't place upon herself, but understood why.

    She never blamed Veronika, and she only felt more guilty because she'd placed such a burden on her sister to begin with. She should have never asked her to keep quiet about her secret rendezvous with Camille, even if in the beginning that had been harmless. She scrubbed at her tired eyes as she took the scene in of her entirely family going about life. Alexander was on the floor, playing with Jakob, while Veronika helped her mother set the table.

    Despite all the pain, she couldn't help the small curl of her lip at the sight. This was her life now, her family and even if she never loved another person romantically again, she had the love of family and friends and that was enough. And in time, she would heal from this and everything would be good again.

    Veronika looked up from the table as she set down their glasses and gave Roxanna a smile. The corners of her mouth tugged a little more in response. Tonight, she would participate in game night even if she didn't feel like it. And maybe tonight she could talk her mother into letting her have something that would let her sleep through the entire night. Maybe tonight Veronika could sleep in her own bed and not feel guilty. After all, she deserved to get to sleep in her own bed and not have to always worry that her sister was going to wake from night terrors.

    But she knew Veronika would never complain, because it helped that she was there to comfort Roxanna when she woke in the dead of night. Both of them slept better, but Roxanna wanted to get better, if for nothing else than to give her sister a bit of her own life back. There was so much she owed her sister, Rox would never be able to pay her back, not that she would ask. But she felt like she should do something, just what that was she had no idea, at least not yet.

    Alexander scooped Jakob up and set him in his high chair, as soon as Katherine was ready. They all sat down at the table, like a family. It was a comfort to Roxanna during times like this, that and the normalcy of their lives. Katherine had an ability to read thoughts and emotions, but she never butted in or pried unless it was important. Roxanna nearly forgot that her mother could do that, except for on the occasions that she approached Roxanna about her emotions or thoughts during those first few days.

    Veronika, she was the best. She was the strength and comfort that Roxanna needed. V never pushed, but was readily there when she needed to talk or a shoulder to cry on. V was the anchor in the dark when she woke from night terrors, the person that held her tight as she cried herself back to sleep, this was her sister. And Alexander, he was what she imagined a father would be: supportive, loving, comforting, encouraging, and ready to rip the head off of anyone that messed with his kids, this was her father.

    Katherine was her voice of reason, her wisdom, her refuge. Her mother like her father was her greatest supporter and protector. She was a wealth of comfort and knowledge, someone that allowed you to make your mistakes and then pick you up and dust you off and encourage you to keep going. And little Jakob, he was aware of the emotions and the idea that something had happened, but went right on loving unconditionally, this was her baby brother. This was her family, one that she could have never hoped for or dreamed of.

    As Roxanna took her seat at the table next to her sister, the pain in her heart eased at the knowledge of the love surrounding her. This was all the love she'd ever need, and she was perfectly content with that. With smiles greeting her from around the table, Roxanna's mouth curled just a bit more at the corners as she picked up her glass to drink.
    ...to the topTop



  3. #3
    Count / Countess Tigers is offline Tigers's Avatar
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    Lukas


    What is love? For Lukas Kazlar it was his mate, Millie and their 21 children. It was waking up each morning next to his beautiful wife and the sounds of a bustling house full of children. It was knowing that whatever life threw at them, they would face it together and come out the stronger for it. It was his mates compassionate, loving nature, her ability to give him her complete and utter trust. It was the trust his children had in their parents to take care of their emotional and physical needs and the smiles and hugs that came from that trust. It was the diversity that the world said should separate them but brought them together instead.

    Fae, Lycan, Vampire, Human and hybrid's of several species lived, breathed and loved under one roof. The world would say it was impossible, but to the Kazlar's, it was their everyday life. It was the struggles outside their families, their community that always threatened to test their family bonds, but the Kazlar's always endured. Trouble always seemed to find their door, seep into the cracks of their community, but wasn't that the ways of evil, to always try and test the faith of the good?

    It was a week into their transition from Budapest to Russia, the older children divided their time helping their parents with the packing as well as with watching their younger siblings. So many things would be left behind, they had all become accustom to life in Budapest. Holding on to promises made would become more difficult in the days ahead, now that humans knew of their existence. Millie and Lukas would try to meet their promises of helping Phyrre learn about her people, help the kids that that had plans for college readjust to their need to remain anonymous.

    But theirs was a community that would never turn down a soul in need, and as life became dangerous for those not born human and the human friends of their community, so too would their lives become more threatened. They were living in a time that Lukas and Millie had always hoped to avoid, and now that they were faced with it, they would meet it head on as a family.

    To avoid drawing attention to their move, items unnecessary for their daily lives were packed and shipped to their new locations. Alexander and Boris worked with their allied leaders to make the move as smooth and non attention drawing as possible. Some of their human friends would remain behind, to take care of loose ends and close of this chapter of their lives before moving to join the rest of them. Even some of the immortals from the community, less likely to draw attention would remain behind for a time, just to ensure the safety of the others.

    In the meantime, Lukas and Millie worked on keeping anxiety to a minimum for their children. All of their children in one way or another were hyper sensitive to change, and keeping their family calm and together was Lukas and Millie's main priority. They worried for all of their children, especially those whose uniqueness stood out as undeniably non human. Lukas had always been a diligent protector and father, now he found himself stretching that ability to its utmost.

    For the moment, Lukas took a moment to embrace his mate as they surveyed their family home and the activities of their children engrossed in doing their part to help with the move. It was a bitter sweet moment, knowing they would likely never set foot in this place they'd called home ever again. He kissed the top of his mate's forehead as he gently squeezed her to his side.


    "I think a campout in the living room is called for on our last night, what do you think? End a family tradition at our old home and start it anew with our new one?" Lukas whispered softly to Millie.

    "I can't imagine it will be without some sadness, but overall, I'm hoping it will help with the transition to Russia."
    ...to the topTop



  4. #4
    Millie Yeats-Kazlar

    "That sounds like a wonderful idea," Millie agreed.

    The thought of leaving Budapest was a sad one. This was the first place she'd been accepted into a community, and it had become her home. She had learned about her true Fae nature here, and no one thought any less of her for it. She'd gained confidence in this community. She'd pursued her dream of becoming a counselor, and she was a community leader now too.

    Millie had fallen in love and gotten married here. She'd built her family with Lukas - the beautiful family she'd always dreamed of. They were all different, but they loved each other so much... and Millie and Lukas had made sure these children hadn't fallen through the cracks and gotten lost, just as her own parents had done for her years ago.

    This had been a good place for her. She was sad to leave. This house had been built for them... not just in the literal sense, but also in how their dreams had become reality.

    Their new home would be a good place too, though. They would continue to make good memories. As long as they were together, they'd be fine.

    "I'm glad we can take our family traditions with us. A family camp-out in our new living room will be the perfect transition, I think. It'll show the kids that while some things change, family remains the same."
    "Sleep to dream, and we dream to live..." -Great Big Sea
    ...to the topTop



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